Thursday, April 10, 2014

Happy Voting!

Alas! I am out of those vociferous political chants, they call those as party songs!
A day prior to the elections, I flipped over the FM stations one after other hoping to get rid of Modi’s apotheosises, Kejriwal’s heart-drowning speech and Congress’ vane effort to save its name.
In my political book in school, I read that in any area campaigning must stop a week prior to the day of voting in that area. It was right, I didn’t see any political leader on road begging for votes, with a smile on face and lust for power at heart. But what about these radio ads which torture you like anything and eventually, reside in your mind a dilemma on whom to vote.
In this long run of elections in the capital, where campaigning is a sacred moto of the political parties, people tend to change their views as they listen, hear or read about such parties and charge themselves so much that all other parties seem to be traitors of the country.
Totally awaken, this political season of Lok sabha Elections, where the People are about to choose their PM (ooh, sorry it’s opposite, MP), I decided to break into every kind of voter and supporter this season and found some with a mixture of pulchritude, predilection and indifference.

1.       Modi Lovers: Undoubtedly, this man, Narendra Singh Modi, has got more followers than the Indra god and why not, having given the name, NAMO, similar to that of the Hindu Maha-God, Shiva ‘Om Namah Shivae’, Modi has been a one man army.
The cab driver who drops me to the office in the morning belongs to this category.
‘Sir! Whom would you vote? AAP or Modi?’ he asked. Public knew there was a party called BJP, today Modi in himself is a party.
Unfortunately, before I answered, I asked him for his favourite candidate? His love for Modi overflowed and I had to listen to a live Modi campaign for the next half an hour till I reached office.

2.       ‘AAP hi ho, bass AAP hi ho’ Singers: ‘It’s the time for an Aam Admi to come to action again! So what if he left earlier, he did that on his principles’ said a friend of mine. Impressed by Kejriwal’s strong profile and art of public speaking. Whatever he is, he has something in him that has overthrown the long reign of Congress in Delhi! He has a mixture of supporters and haters!

3.       Congress, too old to race! : Congress is the most silent one this time. They are too busy in Women Empowerment that they forgot that they have to campaign this season.
‘Congress is not campaigning this time! It will lower its chances!’ said a colleague of mine!
‘Since they know that their chances of winning are low, they are not campaigning’ my Manager corrected.

4.       ‘My vote to Daddu Bhaiya!’: The rickshaw wala who belongs to Bangladesh, but still holds a voter id card said so! Daddu Bhaiya, though holds some criminal cases against him, is the voter id god to him. Daddu, but gave him job by helping him in hiring a rickshaw for Rs. 100 less a month. Excuse me! Is someone there who offers citizenship of USA?

5.       ‘All corrupt, vote for anyone’: Businessman who don’t trust any political party, but still consider voting as their prerogative right say so. No political party can provide them with rebate from Income tax, all matters for them are numbers.

6.       ‘India is not a Democratic country!’: Denying the dangling fact that India is a Democratic Republic, there are people who have many other important works than voting in their non-democratic country.
‘I have not voted ever in my life, nor do I want to in this non democratic country’ said a 36 years old. He is an IIM Alumni and currently works as a lecturer in country’s reputable university.

Whom shall I be like? Or who amongst the above are you?
Be anyone, but the last one. Go on! Vote this political season. If nothing then atleast hold a right to curse the political parties in the future, which you lose if you don’t vote.

Happy Voting!
Cheers!

N!K

Monday, February 4, 2013

So the world was gonna end!!



So....you alive?
haah! ofcourse yes! else you wont have smiled like that!

Did you imagine an earthquake parting ground to two and we all becoming the part of that spurting hot yellowish lava and turning to a roasted chicken the very next second?
But if you live near some sea or some river then you must have imagined a flood spiflicating your house and you would die gulping a lot of water? Don’t tell me that you learnt swimming particularly for this day!!
Are you in contact with god and working on your own ark to save yourself, like Noah did? Do take me along. I would be a useful resource!
Different people and different theories! I still wonder how this date got selected, 22-12-12. Too many twos and two ones!
Except for the reason that we survived and are still on this earth, there are many reasons to cry (and laugh) about.
Just thought a few….
Side effects of world not ending on 22nd Dec:
·         A survey showed that most of the newbie criminals this year confessed that they did a crime in the lieu of the world ending on 22nd. Now they all are searching for the group of scientist who professed so. They want to hit another crime!

·         Many online portals reduced their product rates to set a record in revenue sales. Since we are still alive, they are arranging for some money to buy locks to shut their offices.


·          Ladies shopped shop to shop OFF SALE with their husband’s credit card in the month of November and December. Today courts are filled with lakhs of divorce cases
·

   Students, dreaming an escape from their end term exams, spent their time on Facebook and twitter. Alas, Sumit will have to wait for another one year to be an Engineer. He has an obvious reason to fail though! (really!!)

·      Men who deliberately got married before 22nd in a hurry to loose virginity before dying are seen in the beer bars cursing their greedy lust!

·         The electronic companies who extended their warranty to life time have fired those employees who supported this idea!


Survival was also not that bad:
·         Black money would have turned black and Switzerland had been the richest place to vanish, all thanks to us, the Indians!
·         You got a few things for a cheaper price. You can pass the money saved to me!
·         And ofcourse, you are laughing and reading this article.

Was this something proposed? This ‘Kalyug’ was going to end, in the same way as god saved Noah! Well I don’t think so! We will live till we create our end, and this is certainly not the end. I have not yet explored my new cell phone! I have just got a new mobile phone, and the dealer has given me one year warranty!

God himself (and with the permission of the Goddess) said ‘Never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth’. How could such great words from god be false? We will be living till we choose to die. It won’t be the god, but we ourselves who would genocide the human race.


And yet ofcourse, I am not married yet! How can I die virgin?

N!K
!!LIO!!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

!!!!WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SOFTWARE ENGINEER!!!!

Sitting amidst of lakhs of engineers in the cyber hub of Gurgaon, I, a Software Engineer, sometimes think how difficult it is to be the one.
After the parrot cram of tons of answers for the absurd questions, exhausting the pen till the last drop of ink in the exams and thereby getting an expertise in generating own petty answers in the viva (where answers have no relevance with the question asked) – a proud product that comes out is a ‘Software Engineer’.

The word ‘Engineer’ has been India’s most favorite word in the past decade and thence every mother wants her child to earn this sobriquet which doesn’t even guarantee a job (if you belong to some ‘good’ college like mine).
And somehow if you get into the job, then you need to rug your ass hard to survive.
Don’t believe me?
See this:

The life jog starts early morning when he has to leave for office (if his office is in the outskirts of the city, his life is a hell!). Perfectly dressed up, somehow reaching office, he will listen to his manager for coming half an hour (atleast) late. Eventually, realizing that school was best part of life, he would skip his breakfast and will start his system. A series of requirements, codes and test cases would haunt him all the day. After his belly would bring a few voices against his unmeant hunger strike, he would rush for the lunch. With no option he has to return to his seat in half an hour for the meeting scheduled with client.
Client is like Godfather. No matter how so ever his day has been, he will have to smile to show the vigor and excitement he has for the work (No one has it, I tell you). The godfather would raise unnecessary bugs those would take rest of our engineer’s day to solve.
Ogling at the hottest chic on the floor, he will pass his whole day and a look from that girl would suffice to pass another two days.
The superfluous day ensures that he has no time for himself. By the time he will reach home (may or may not), half of the world might have slept and all power is exhausted to do anything.
What all an ‘Engineer’ loses:
Respect: When boss shouts at him because the lot of work being assigned is still pending.
Yaa! Standing quiet makes him bold. That’s a plus point.

Patience:  When his hand written code is bumping out errors, every time he shouts ‘Fuck off you filthy shit of code!’


Health: Sitting on the chair in front of the computer screen for the whole day makes his belly to dangle out. Some offices do provide gyms but no time to avail this modest service. The inches of his belly define the experience he has in the industry.
(oohh....42 inches....you must be the Team lead. Right? )

A software engineer is incomplete without his specs! He should feel absolutely fine in case of hair loss!


Money: IT Company pays not even the 20% to him of what clients pays for him.

Surroundings : An Engineer is least bothered about what is happening around. Project requirements dart around his mind all the time.
(kasab died!?!...when does that happen?)

Girlfriend: Due to lack of time his girlfriend asks him to choose between her and his work. Earning to sustain is the only option he has. No girlfriend saves his mobile bills as well.
(don't know if this is true for girls as well)

Language:  see this:
A man was standing on the railway track unknown about a train approaching him. A Software engineer sees this and shouts:
‘hey dude!! A train with a speed of 120km/hr is approaching towards the point exactly where you are standing! So please……’. Meanwhile the train runs over the man and he dies. Then our software engineer completes: ‘get aside’.

An engineer is like a labor, who is asked to build a wall but don’t know why! He is like a driver who has no destination to go, blindly following his master’s edicts.

But life is about struggle. Isn’t it?
One, who bears with all this with a smile and commitment at heart, succeeds. He is the true Engineer, who knows how to make up his life despite of all difficulties! Innovation comes from those who know how to sustain longer and better!
Complete your work on time. Know what you are doing. Don’t do hard but smart work. Make best use of the resources at your workplace. Understand the work flow of the projects so that when some good day you do something on your own, you know how to go for it!
An engineer is the one who builds himself not the code, who tests himself at every situation in his life, not merely the test cases, who knows what it requires to be a successful person!

Feel proud to be an Engineer!!

For Engineers, by an Engineer,
NiK




Monday, January 2, 2012



We All want to be different!!.... 
that’s what makes us all the same!!!!

We, the crazy class of living species- homosapiens, who have unlimited desires and wants, have another thing in common- we all want to be 'different', but don’t you think this thought makes us all the same.

Amidst of those beautiful thoughts in our mind we all have a dream, an aspiration of being something 'different'…..(not maggi tomato ketchup!!...its DIFFERENT!!....LIO )…..we all promise ourselves to do something that would make us shine in this populous world ….! High and Bright!!! Popular and rich!!
We all want to have a cool persona, a public figure that everyone notices and ofcourse- rich!!
Eehh…..do you have any other dream?...hmm….i bet it can’t be!! Told you we all are same!!

“Gleam those who don’t do different things but do things differently!!....”
I know it’s a common phrase. Don’t worry I won’t bore you with such high philosophical phrases.

Being a student I write what I feel…..
So many students take the same exam at the same time. All have a dream in the mind- crack the exam and to be on the top! (unlike me, who play for a draw!..:D ) for some that would make them different! Who cares!...huh..


And the ways of being 'different' change as the people around achieve that ‘difference’.

A decade ago, being an engineer was a great awe! But today just catch the world around. Every third person is an engineer(like me)!!
Today I think- ‘what a waste of 4 years!’. I don’t think I learnt anything new after my 12th that would make me get a job.
Now the definition has changed for engineering students. Now Engineer + MBA makes them look unique.
Hah…this will change soon….


The 'Difference' comes up with the personality a person carries. The way a person speaks.
No???
I attended a conference on Carrier development a few weeks back. I met a guy there, of my age. We started talking to each other. As to the relating topic I asked him- ‘what do u want to be?’
He said, “main poore India me World Famous hona chahta hun!”. He wants to be world famous in India! Crazy guy!!
But I think this craziness makes him 'different', atleast for me. I won’t forget him ever for that crazy reply!

Hmm…
I don’t want all that….
I want just a few things in my life.
LHS
Naa….it does not mean Left hand side or so….lol….

J Love: as my blog name suggests...i want a lovely life....hmm...welll......ssshhh…….it’s a secret!!...;-)
J Happiness: ofcourse, I want to be happy always!!...:D
J Success: it makes you passionate about work!!... J

I don’t think to be 'different'!!....
Everybody else wants to be ‘Different’. This thought itself makes me 'different'. …Lol….. J
Hmm…
Laugh it off!!
Now don’t copy my line!! Else we would be same again!


Nik Kicks!!
LIO!!
:D:D

Friday, January 21, 2011

Time itself has got speed!!!!



Sounds odd? Vacillated all concepts of SDT(Speed, distance and Time)? Aarree!! Please bring that scientific mind down from the quantitative quest and realize something on how time goes around us. Something we don’t do often!! 
Ever noticed how time passes on, just as a blink of an eye, when we have a lot of syllabus to be scanned up at night, for the exam next dawn!!  And the celerity of those three hours, when we fall back to complete the exam saying “lengthy tha yarr…..” (conditions apply….lolz) . Oh time, you are so swift!!
 And counterpart, when we are all free, having nothing to do, every second seeming a day long and turning us restless to break those clocks. Neither do you feel like reading anything, even those exceptionally loved animating games don’t entertain. We are left to say-“Kambhakt neend bhi ni aa rhi….”. we really want to kill Mr.Time then.. 
When waiting for someone, the whole world seems moving so slowly. Time turns to such a slouch……
 And how those ticks of seconds appears to move on a sonic chariot, when you are with someone whom you love and a lot you want to say still remains unsaid, clutching lack of time!! Although last words, “love you..”, express everything….and the moment appears to pass on slowly when you see the smile that lofts up to say… “….too” . It feels as if the time turned tardy to move its cart. Heard of violins buzzing in heart, a whole song just that jiffy….Mr. Time seems to rest, enjoying then and how it turns envy at break up!!! When the broken heart loves to enjoy those sad songs which are also as slow as the time passing by!!....(P.S.: Nothing out of experience. I told you I am an SRK fan…..lolz)

It sometimes feels rejuvenating when we retrospect our childhood and suspect how time changed us from a candy-cartoon lover child to a good learner who knows relationships well!! So early, so fast!! Or shall I say, how those ‘a b c d’ rhyme singers chose ‘WTF’ as their favorite!! Strollers turned to bikers, toffee lover to an addict of pizz-burgers!! Do we ever realize how this twist occurred? Time is the greatest!! the Fastest!!

How this stupid time makes us smile on the issues we cried for, in the past!!
But yes!! I feel the only problem with time is that the Present time always makes us remind of its two Twins, the past and the future!! Whatever we did in the past affects our present. If you learn from past, you ameliorate else if you just think of it atoning, you deteriorate out of depression. Future twin always haunts. Scares us and make us worry for its betterment. Whether its related to career, consequences of something done with its past twin, or any other future plan. Present is eldest amongst them that cares about all!!

Did you see ‘Inception(the movie)’? Time controlled via dreams!!
1 sec = 3 minutes, from one phase to its subsequent dream. Seems amazing!! Isn’t it?
I wish I had that same briefcase machine!!.......laugh it off!!
Ohh…. I forgot its already late. I have to go and get ready for a party. Yippy!! 
This Mr. Time passed on so fast yet again! You moody fellow!!
Hey guys…. I will continue further with the same stupid idea, if Mr. Time allows me for it.
Till then, as I always say-  “keep smiling.. J ”  And yes don’t allow this time to sweep away itself from your life so sparely…..

Now don’t waste your time giving that laugh to this time and brain-eating text!!
Go on!! Do something fruitful………..Rock the world!! Create wonderful memories, with whatever speed this time be moving!!
Enjoy….;-)
Laugh it off!!!
Nitin Khanijau…..(NiK)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

;-) !!!!! SmILiNg WeLcOmE !!! :-)

Nik is just to Kick....nothing Sick....
Hellooo Everybody here in this Blogging World........Welcome me!!!
This is my first Blog. Do i need to add some gestures like " what shall i write !!!!"  with  hip-hop heart or those very popular "butterflies in stomach...anxiousness"....forget it!!!
hey!!
As a starting blog, let me add up my small synopsis. Some fine day i saw the "about me" section of FB of a Don't-know Gentleman with "this space is too short for me to explain myself". Does that mean he is ineffable and too great that he can't write a few lines on himself or he is another practically confused guy who is still wondering out for himself!!
 
Whatever!!

I am Nitin Khanijau (or simply Nik), a student at USIT, GGSIPU, Delhi.( my college is very soon gonna shift to Dwarka.....soon.... )  
I am a college going still a teenager....who loves bunking classes and go out for movies and yes another creature on this earth with a Love Story......sssshhhhh!!!!!! don't tell it to anyone...lolz....;-)
I am a fun loving person, that's my star lite!! (this is something that everyone adds....no? ). I guess that's conspicuous by my such an informal way of writing....
I love to meet people and know about them. 
I feel life is nothing but a series of experiences, some good , some bad, some worst...some are tagged to THE BEST...(i will tell you what was that!! ;-))
And yes on reading above lines don't think that i am rubbing off philosophy and flamboyancy.....its me...Original piece....

I get charged on when i see others fueling up for work. i love to fantasize, it makes me happy and charges me up to get that dream. I am great SRK and Chetan Bhagat fan. One is a versatile actor, other is a 'wow!!' writer.
One good college-working afternoon, we people bunked the college and planned for a movie...."Guzarrish". The title Dialogues were inspiring. You would have read it earlier, no matter, read it again it might inspire you too towards life!!!


Life is short
Break the rules
forgive quickly
kiss passionately, love truly
laugh constantly


And never stop smiling
no matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
but as long as we are here, we should smile and be

grateful.


Energetic lines.....'bole to ek dam rapchik!!'
So enjoy life till you Live...
Honda Jazz:: "wHy So SeRioUs?!?"         
ok ok!! from Dark Knight also...Happy you Batman Fans!! Headlights are like Car's eyes, the batman's eyes!!

but really why to be serious if life itself is tagged as a 'Game' by some great minds....
So just Laugh it Off!! my cherished dialogue ....
.Come on!! Now don't smile reading this, Wish me 'Happy Blogging'.....

Enjoy....;-)
Keep Smiling!!!!!
Nitin Khanijau....(NiK)